As we walk a tightrope between keeping the economy from suffocating like a candle that’s melted too much wax and not letting coronavirus rip our healthcare system apart, some unusual solutions have been pondered to some very real questions.
Like, can a factory reopen if the workers all stand 6 feet apart? If so, how could you satisfy your lawyers in that decision, and collect data to prove to OSHA that it’s working?
Well, you’d implant them with a GPS-tracking RFID chip. Since mandating that sort of thing would be illegal, you’ll instead force them to wear the tracker.
And just like a dog’s shock collar, you’ll zap them if they step out of line.
A dozen Ford Motor workers are experimenting with wearable social-distancing devices that could be deployed more widely once the carmaker reopens idled manufacturing plants.
The small group of volunteers at a Ford factory in Plymouth, Michigan, are trying out watch-like wearables that vibrate when employees come within six feet of each other, said Kelli Felker, a company spokeswoman. The aim is to keep workers from breaching the distance that health experts recommend to avoid spreading the coronavirus.
The social-distancing device could be part of a broader array of new safety protocols Ford deploys as it resumes production as early as next month after at least a roughly six-week shutdown. The automaker is also expected to subject all workers entering a facility to a thermal-imaging scan to detect a fever. And it will provide staff with masks and, in some cases, plastic face shields, Felker said. The company is devising the measures along with the United Auto Workers union.
One shudders when wondering what they will think of next.