A new wave of parenting advice out of Australia has left many raising eyebrows—and possibly reaching for the air freshener.
According to researchers from Deakin University, changing a baby’s diaper should no longer be treated as a simple task to get done quickly and efficiently. Instead, it should be transformed into a lesson in consent and bodily autonomy—even if the baby can’t yet talk, crawl, or hold its own bottle.
In a November 2025 guide, Deakin’s early childhood specialists recommend that parents not just dive into the mess but start by announcing the need for a diaper change, giving the infant time to “take it in.” They encourage asking questions like, “Do you want to walk or crawl to the table, or would you like me to carry you?”—a question that may seem baffling to anyone who’s ever met a three-week-old.
The logic behind this approach isn’t literal, say the experts. The infant is not expected to verbally respond or give a formal nod of approval. Instead, the idea is to foster early awareness of body autonomy and begin laying the groundwork for respectful interactions between caregivers and children. It’s part of the larger “gentle parenting” philosophy, which favors empathy, communication, and mutual respect over commands, discipline, or hierarchy.
Critics online have been swift in their ridicule. Social media commentary ranges from sarcastic quips about babies giving consent forms to exhaustion over what some see as another example of parenting ideals disconnected from daily realities.
Still, experts defending the approach insist that narrating a diaper change—explaining what’s happening, using consistent language, and even anatomically correct terms—is about modeling respectful behavior, not waiting for babies to issue verbal approval.
Clinical psychologist Yamalis Diaz and psychotherapist Lesley Koeppel both agree: the practice isn’t about literal consent. It’s symbolic. But, they argue, the symbolism matters. The language and tone used in early childhood may influence a child’s comfort with boundaries, safety, and autonomy later in life.
The Deakin researchers are clear that their guidance is aspirational, not prescriptive. They acknowledge that not every diaper change will be a moment of connection—and that parents, especially exhausted ones, shouldn’t feel guilt if they can’t uphold the full protocol every time. But they maintain that normalizing respectful conversations—even in infancy—can help protect children, particularly by empowering them to understand and communicate about their bodies as they grow.
One of the more controversial recommendations? Avoid distracting babies with toys or songs during changes. Instead, parents are urged to focus on consistent verbal cues and use the anatomically correct names for genitals, even during bathing and cleaning. “Parents may feel uncomfortable,” the guide notes, “but this keeps children safe, as it means they can then inform trusted adults about their experiences.”
